More Unsolicited Advice For New Mamas

I am no baby whisperer, super Mom or well, anything special really.
Just a scientist with a five month old.

But, I got these pearls of wisdom gradually, and often in hindsight, and wish I had read them all in one spot in the beginning. Some of these are tips from others (thank you friends and lovely ladies from my mothers group) and some are me reflecting on her newborn stage. Anyway, I hope they help at least one new Mama out there xo

No two days, nights or weeks will ever be the same. Something might work one day and babe will hate it the next day. But that's okay. Things don't have to be the same. The sooner you accept that anything goes, the easier the process will be.

Let your body recover. You just made a human. That is astounding.

Babies don't cry to annoy you or keep you up. They cry to communicate or because, well, they are babies. Don't take it personally. Remember they just came from a pretty primo warm hot tub in your belly and well, now they are learning that sometimes life sucks. So yeah, its totally fair enough that they might bawl sometimes.

Burp babe as much as possible. I didn't realise how important this was for ages. I don't interrupt feeds to burp her, but if she comes off the boob, she's getting burped.

Time is relative. Those long nights can be lonely. And they can feel like they drag on. But the only thing which is guaranteed is the passing of time. Take it in small amounts. Before you know it a week, a month, a few months will have passed. Remember - this too shall pass.

Do you know anyone else having a baby around the same time as you? Having someone to message at 3 am or to bounce "is he doing this...?" Questions off is super important. I had two friends who I chatted to daily and still message as new challenges or happy moments come up.

I personally wish I hadn't even thought about schedules and sleep training till she was 3 months old. I stressed so much that we should be doing it when I should have just been enjoying her sleeping on me.

My health nurse told me that babes have a period of digestion settling between 2-10 weeks. Week 6 is the peak of the adjustment, and babe can go to half feeds or be grizzly and farty. I literally didn't read that anywhere else and if I hadn't known that I would have been stressing out trying to understand what was wrong.

If you ever feel like you can't do it. Guess again. You are doing it right now. And you are doing a better job than you know.

I used to worry that she was feeding for too long. And then I worried she was feeding for a really short time. Bottom line is she was putting on weight and generally happy. So I should have calmed my arse down. 

When you are getting ready to transition from bassinet to cot, put babe in the cot for day naps and keep them in the bassinet at night for another wee while (for us it was a month). Then when it's time to sleep in the nursery at night they are familiar with their surroundings. 

They can't stay awake forever. In theory.

It's okay to cry. 

There is such a thing as the "witching hour" (I had never heard of this, and thought I was doing something wrong). Babies (in general) will lose their shit from late afternoon in to the evening. Just take a deep breath and know that being there is comforting. And if you need to put babe down and walk away for a few minutes - there is nothing wrong with that.

Be kind to your partner. They are learning things too. Just because you think things should be done a certain way, doesn't mean its universal.

Everyone is different. And everyone has an opinion. Just do what feels right for you. Conflicting opinions will come from everywhere. "So and so" doing something one way doesn't mean you have to as well (for example, crying it out or not, co sleeping or not, cloth nappies or not, etc. etc.).

A glass of wine and some fresh air can move mountains (although nothing really replaces sleep, so nap when you can and chip away at that deficit).

If you or your partner can take time to prepare snacks or one handed meals, do it. Often eating intervals are few and far between. I found frozen smoothie packs SUPER handy. And the veges and fruit are so good at making you feel better.

Take any help you can get. Frozen meals are the most helpful kind of help I think. In fact, if you have the option for baby shower gifts, maybe you could ask for a frozen meal? If someone offers to help. Take it. You would do the same for them.

Breastfeeding is not necessarily the easy and straight forward process one might think. But that is a whole post in itself.  

Baby stuff is expensive. And all babies are different. So some will like a swing and others will detest it. If friends offer to loan you things. Take them and try them.

Find a mothers group. There is nothing like hearing you aren't the only one getting no sleep to make you feel less insane.

Oh!! And, I nearly forgot this one. We were trying to get Soph to take a bottle of expressed milk at about 6 weeks and she hated it. Persevering with it was stressing us out and we nearly stopped. But a friend and my Mum kept pressing us to try so I could get a break from feeds sometimes. My friends advice - sometimes babies hate things Sarah. Simple as that. So, keep trying. They need to learn new things.

Last of all, spend as long as you want staring at that beautiful baby. There is nothing like a newborn cuddle. Kiss them. Squeeze them. Take photos. Love them. They are precious.And when you look back on it, the time flies.

Phew - that was a lot of things!
Do you have any tips for new mamas?
What would your biggest piece of advice be?

Postpartum Provisions

I recently had a friend who is six months pregnant, ask me for advice for after baby arrives. Nothing can really prepare you for the realities of lack of sleep, or the amazing feeling that is staring at your newborn. But, in saying that, you can have some things close by which can help ease the transition. 

I remember searching Pinterest for a similar list before Sophie was born. And something I found amusing, is that I could tell where the writer was from, based on what was in her list. See, I always read "peri bottle" and "Tucks" on lists from writers in North America. I had no idea what these items were, but I bought them. After the delivery, I was chatting to the midwife about the postpartum period. I mentioned both products - and she said in all her time, she had never recommended them to anyone. So anyway, everyone is different. And comfort is the most important thing. I found the peri bottles very handy.

The conversation with my pal made me think about what I had on hand, what I didn't have, and what I would recommend for her to get. So I thought, why not write it all down! Now, some may seem like luxuries, or odd, but these are what I had and relied on for comfort in that new, exciting but challenging time. Cos, straight up, it was probably the hardest couple of weeks I recall. But for all that, having that super sweet, brand new, soft and squidgy, mewling little poppet is worth every tiring second. And more. Her little face looking up at me was like, well, nothing I can describe.

So, here is the list.. Enjoy!

Nursing tanks - soooo useful. I had a couple but asked Mum to grab me a couple more. I pretty much wore them every day. Oh and your boobs get giant - so size up!

Curtains - "but Sarah, what do you mean curtains? Isn't this about new babies?". Our house has no curtains in the front room, but technically the front room is the back room. So no-one can see in. Anyway, the reason is, you will walk around with your tah-tahs out all the time. Like ALL the time. I would forget and would Rob would have to remind me when people came around.

Coconut oil - oh the nipples. I hate to say it but they get kind of destroyed in the first few weeks. I tried some lanolin based creams but coconut oil was what really worked for me.

All the food - cos I ate, all the food. All the time. Mum made me sandwiches every few hours. Green smoothies helped move things in the belly along. And that means lots of nutrients for babe. Nuts and fresh fruit were good too. Easily accessible snacks for 3 am are important too.

Nursing nightgown - it's much easier to get them out with one of these! It makes your night feeds much swifter.

Maternity pads - everyone is different but it happens. You just gotta have a bunch. Better to have too many on hand. 

Booty box - A shelf or box in your bathroom/toilet with the pads, plus tucks, peri or spray bottle, wet wipes, and tissue paper. Look after it all. It has all been through quite a traumatic time.

Boppy - your arms get tired yo. Especially because newborns take so long to feed. And that's gonna be half of your day.

Chocolate - I ate a lot of chocolate. That is all. 

Breast pump - all my research into newborns and babies, and yet I never read about engorgement. I guess everyone is different, but man, I found it to be very painful. So, having the breast pump to relieve the pressure was the best thing I could have done. I had bought one because I planned to breast feed and pump if I could, but I appreciate not everyone buys them before baby comes. If you have a similar problem with engorgement pain, maybe buying a manual pump or renting one could work too. 

Ice packs - Yep. There's no hiding it, a day after the birth the shock of the whole event really hurts your body. And then you spend a lot of time sitting to feed. Look after yourself! Periodic ice packing can really help! I kept forgetting I had just had a baby, I would be like, man it hurts. And then its like, oh yeah. Baby.

Heat pack - again, I found this was a massive relief from engorgement pain. 

Caffeine - in any form. You just need it.

Support System - I do not know how people do it alone. Full respect ladies. I needed loved ones. Full stop.

A human sized nest - haha. What I mean by that, is have a comfy spot that you can eat in, nap in and feed in. I spent most of my day in a nest on the couch. It was much easier than moving around the house and it was good for resting. I had a big maternity pillow to sit on because that ass area is delicate ladies. I had Sophie's moses basket next to the sofa too. Convenience!

So yeah, these are what I would recommend. Do you have anything you agree with or something different you required? What is your advice ladies?!

DIY Loopy Luna

Hmmm... I'm not sure what this wee creation should be called.. I have a faint recollection that some people could be calling them taggy toys?? I'm not sure how something changes from a softie to something else with the addition of looped ribbons.. but anyway, I'm calling mine Loopy Luna(r). Cos well, she has loops for hair, and is rather moon like I think.

This is one of the projects I put together in week 38 of my pregnancy. It was really a time of using any craft materials I could find in my house to distract myself as much as possible! This one wasn't Pinterest inspired, rather she is based on a character from an Enid Blyton book "The Far Away Tree". The character is called Moonface. And he is a darling wee character. I wanted to make a wee softie of him for Sophie, for when we read her the book later. Then I received a bunch of cute ribbons in my Christmas parcel from Mum, so I thought, why not add some loopy loops, for baby to grasp on to. And thus, Loopy Luna was born (and he became a she). Its amazing what the pregnant mind can come up with huh?

So... Materials for this project -
- Fabric for the main body of the softie. I used a light weight white cotton, because, well, it was in my box of fabric. But you could use any colour. I liked the white for the moon, but you could make her yellow for the sun, or mix it up with some floral.
- Ribbons. I used 5 different ribbons, 2 wider ribbons, 3 thinner ribbons. I used ones with patterns, but you could combine plain and patterned. I quite like the colour combination of mine, especially since my base fabric was white and I think it needed brightening up.
- Embroidery thread. Now, maybe its because I am from a very Scottish and thrifty family, but I always keep my leftover threads when I do cross stitch projects. So I just used different coordinating colours that I had left over.
- Embroidery hoop - this was super helpful for the embroidery part (duh) and also for making her a good circle shape without using a template.
Oh and I don't know if I could have done this without a sewing machine. I'm gonna say that I may have gone mad trying to hand sew this thing.

How it all went down -

Iron your fabric. It always looks better that way (I didn't until near the end, and it totally made it better).

Place your white fabric into your embroidery hoop. Cut out a square of fabric around the hoop, make the overall size about an inch or two bigger than the embroidery hoop you have. I used my hoop size as a basis for the size of the softie.

Decide what personality you would like your softie to have. I wanted Luna to be lovely and friendly. With happy cheeks. Once you know what you want her to be like, draw it on! I have said many times how bad I am at drawing, but even I managed a smile, some cheeks and some wee eyelashes. If you have a fabric safe pen, you could use that, but I just used an ordinary pencil.

Next is embroidery time.. But don't worry. Its just back stitch, the easiest stitch that can be. I started stitching her eyes, splitting the length of one eyelash into 3 stitches. That set the stage for the size of each stitch. Continue stitching until you finish her face.

Sophie and I stitching Luna's smile.

Trim the edge of the fabric so that the edge runs along the edge of the embroidery hoop (you will end up with a circular piece of fabric the same size as your hoop). Remove the fabric from the hoop. Pin this onto the rest of your fabric, to use it as a template to get another circle the same size. Cut out the second circle.

Once you are happy with her face, you need to organise the ribbons. I decided to do a pattern with five ribbons, repeated each time. I found the easiest way to do it was to think of her circular face as a clock and divided it up roughly that way. To make the loops safe for wee one, make sure you don't make them so long that she could choke or anything. That would not be good. I used 10 cm length ribbons. These are then folded in half, and with the seam allowance, mean that the loops end up being a little over 4 cm long.

So. This part confused me. And I had no instructions, so I will be honest, I did have to seriously work through the baby brain to get this part done. I will try and explain it as clearly as possible.. Lets see.

Lay your fabric down, face side up. Arrange the ribbons around the fabric in the spot you want each one at, and with the spacing you want. Take a piece of ribbon. Double the ribbon over so that it is folded in half. Take a pin and pin it to the edge of the fabric. You want the loop to be laying so that it sits above the face, rather than out way from the face. Continue this the whole way around her face. I used lots of ribbons so this took ages, obviously it will vary with the amount you use.

Now. Using a sewing machine, stitch around the outside circumference of the face. Double back at the start to make sure you don't have any thread pull out. Work slowly to make sure you don't get a pin stuck in the machine, you also don't want to come away from the edge effectively "unlooping" the loops.

Okay, still with me? Take your face, which should now have a bunch of ribbons stitched around the outside, and take the other piece of fabric you have. Line the outer edges up and pin them together, face side inside the package of cloth.

Turn the fabric over, so that the back of the face is facing you. You should be able to see the circular pattern of stitches which are holding in the ribbons (which are on the inside) of the fabric right now.

Start stitching the two layers together, making sure the seam is further into the circle than the seam holding the ribbons in. That is to say, when you turn it the right way in, you want the ribbons to be within a seam, not hanging out higgledypiggledy. You know? Lol this is so hard to explain. I hope it makes sense.

Continue stitching the two layers together until you get to about an inch away from where you started. Double back to make sure your threads don't come loose when you turn it the right way in.

Turn the softie the right way out. Here's how she might look!

Fill your softie lovely and full and chubby, chub out those cheeks!

When you are content with her filling, hand stitch the last wee gap... And she's all done!!

What do you think? Does it make sense? Do you have any questions?
I was so happy with how she turned out, especially since I didn't have a pattern, and I did have some intense baby brain at the time haha. Are you an Enid Blyton fan? What childhood favourite would you make into a softie if you could?

Um. You look different.. Was it that Southern food?

Well, it's probably a little to do with that. But it's a lot to do with our wee Sophie.
Here's how this belly of mine expanded in the last 9 months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's the First of January

In case you weren't aware.

Which means all sorts of things.

It's a time when people set out to make changes in life. Start anew. Rekindle old flames. Lose the Christmas poundage. Start that book. Decide to repaint the house. Swear you will be better at communicating this year, or better at those 5:30 runs, or better at making time for yourself.
It's a morning of hangovers feasts (just one last bad meal before the new year diets) , Christmas tree taking down (why are we doing this hungover?), and long slow looks at that old wall planner that needs to be replaced with a shiny brand new one.

If you have had a rough 2014 it's a time for hope of what might come. If you've had a great year it's a time to be thankful and hope for more awesomeness.

For me, it's a time to feel utterly blessed. A year ago today we decided to try for a baby. We were in New Zealand visiting family, and fell so in love with our nephew it set in stone an idea we had been playing with back and forward for quite some time. Today as I sit here, I can feel our wee one kicking about as she gets ready to make her way into the world.

Today is January the first. It also marks week 39 of our pregnancy. And it is 8 weeks since we left the United States and made the trip to Australia. Hmmm. What other milestones can we mark today? Well, it's been 20 weeks since my last blog post. 20 weeks? Wow. That wee break went on and on. And so much has happened since then. So much good blog material. Yikes. The thing is I guess, I really struggled to balance a blossoming Bebe, full time work, wifedom, traveling the States and my blog. So, sensibly (I think) the blog had to take the back seat. And here's a confession. I have missed writing. So much. I mean, at this point I also miss margaritas, crossfit and barely cooked steak, but they were totally worth the break while I have been growing wee Sophie.

So here is the question... Can I get back into writing at the verge of having wee one..? And can I keep it going through her newborn stage? Will I be writing when she fits her 3 month onesies? And then, can I get stronger with balance and keep writing when I eventually get back to work. I don't know really. But it's the first of January. It's worth a try right?

Goodness, it feels quite nice to write something that isn't a to do list.

It was kind of a crazy old year.

Week 18 - Life Lately

18 weeks - this week has been a tough one, but with the love of Rob and and awesome outpouring of support and love from friends and family we are doing good. Still in a lot of pain but our wee girl is safe and sound. 

Focussing on positives - being in hospital wasn't fun, but we got to see our little girl again which was both a relief and a massive happy bubble.

Happy for the nausea to be gone -  and with it the vege aversion. Yayah.

Keeping positive - Took some time this weekend to do happy stuff. Including watching one of the stupidest, awesome and most hilarious movies ever, Talladega nights. 

Planning the nursery - even though he hates dealing with Ikea crowds, Rob took me there to cheer me up and help me plan the nursery. What a guy : )

Shopping for our little one - you guys! How crazy cute is this! One of the little outfits I have been buying for Sophie.

Date night - we had a date night with our Texan family, and ate some amazing seafood - Po Boys aren't Paleo, but man are they tasty!! 

Week 17 - Life Lately

I'm growing y'all! My belly is poppin. I keep getting told I look 30 weeks. I really don't know since I have never done this before, but I like having a belly. It's pretty nifty! 

We got a lovely package from some friends in New Zealand for wee Sophie! I love that she will have lots of things from where we come from, and I love the craftiness in this package!

Shaved Ice - yep, it's another bucket list item! And I got to share a yum strawberry one after a lovely dinner night with a lady pal of mine. So good to catch up and eat curry. I freaking love curry. 

Thinking about our wee girl. 

Baby shower planning - So much fun. And people of America. Party City. What a place!! 

IHOP - baby was craving pancakes on Sunday, and oddly I was too - so we ticket off another bucket list item at International House of Pancakes.

I have been buying so much vintage for our little girl! This came in the mail mid week. Isn't the smocking so sweet - and it's a romper. Romper a kill me with cuteness!