More Unsolicited Advice For New Mamas

I am no baby whisperer, super Mom or well, anything special really.
Just a scientist with a five month old.

But, I got these pearls of wisdom gradually, and often in hindsight, and wish I had read them all in one spot in the beginning. Some of these are tips from others (thank you friends and lovely ladies from my mothers group) and some are me reflecting on her newborn stage. Anyway, I hope they help at least one new Mama out there xo

No two days, nights or weeks will ever be the same. Something might work one day and babe will hate it the next day. But that's okay. Things don't have to be the same. The sooner you accept that anything goes, the easier the process will be.

Let your body recover. You just made a human. That is astounding.

Babies don't cry to annoy you or keep you up. They cry to communicate or because, well, they are babies. Don't take it personally. Remember they just came from a pretty primo warm hot tub in your belly and well, now they are learning that sometimes life sucks. So yeah, its totally fair enough that they might bawl sometimes.

Burp babe as much as possible. I didn't realise how important this was for ages. I don't interrupt feeds to burp her, but if she comes off the boob, she's getting burped.

Time is relative. Those long nights can be lonely. And they can feel like they drag on. But the only thing which is guaranteed is the passing of time. Take it in small amounts. Before you know it a week, a month, a few months will have passed. Remember - this too shall pass.

Do you know anyone else having a baby around the same time as you? Having someone to message at 3 am or to bounce "is he doing this...?" Questions off is super important. I had two friends who I chatted to daily and still message as new challenges or happy moments come up.

I personally wish I hadn't even thought about schedules and sleep training till she was 3 months old. I stressed so much that we should be doing it when I should have just been enjoying her sleeping on me.

My health nurse told me that babes have a period of digestion settling between 2-10 weeks. Week 6 is the peak of the adjustment, and babe can go to half feeds or be grizzly and farty. I literally didn't read that anywhere else and if I hadn't known that I would have been stressing out trying to understand what was wrong.

If you ever feel like you can't do it. Guess again. You are doing it right now. And you are doing a better job than you know.

I used to worry that she was feeding for too long. And then I worried she was feeding for a really short time. Bottom line is she was putting on weight and generally happy. So I should have calmed my arse down. 

When you are getting ready to transition from bassinet to cot, put babe in the cot for day naps and keep them in the bassinet at night for another wee while (for us it was a month). Then when it's time to sleep in the nursery at night they are familiar with their surroundings. 

They can't stay awake forever. In theory.

It's okay to cry. 

There is such a thing as the "witching hour" (I had never heard of this, and thought I was doing something wrong). Babies (in general) will lose their shit from late afternoon in to the evening. Just take a deep breath and know that being there is comforting. And if you need to put babe down and walk away for a few minutes - there is nothing wrong with that.

Be kind to your partner. They are learning things too. Just because you think things should be done a certain way, doesn't mean its universal.

Everyone is different. And everyone has an opinion. Just do what feels right for you. Conflicting opinions will come from everywhere. "So and so" doing something one way doesn't mean you have to as well (for example, crying it out or not, co sleeping or not, cloth nappies or not, etc. etc.).

A glass of wine and some fresh air can move mountains (although nothing really replaces sleep, so nap when you can and chip away at that deficit).

If you or your partner can take time to prepare snacks or one handed meals, do it. Often eating intervals are few and far between. I found frozen smoothie packs SUPER handy. And the veges and fruit are so good at making you feel better.

Take any help you can get. Frozen meals are the most helpful kind of help I think. In fact, if you have the option for baby shower gifts, maybe you could ask for a frozen meal? If someone offers to help. Take it. You would do the same for them.

Breastfeeding is not necessarily the easy and straight forward process one might think. But that is a whole post in itself.  

Baby stuff is expensive. And all babies are different. So some will like a swing and others will detest it. If friends offer to loan you things. Take them and try them.

Find a mothers group. There is nothing like hearing you aren't the only one getting no sleep to make you feel less insane.

Oh!! And, I nearly forgot this one. We were trying to get Soph to take a bottle of expressed milk at about 6 weeks and she hated it. Persevering with it was stressing us out and we nearly stopped. But a friend and my Mum kept pressing us to try so I could get a break from feeds sometimes. My friends advice - sometimes babies hate things Sarah. Simple as that. So, keep trying. They need to learn new things.

Last of all, spend as long as you want staring at that beautiful baby. There is nothing like a newborn cuddle. Kiss them. Squeeze them. Take photos. Love them. They are precious.And when you look back on it, the time flies.

Phew - that was a lot of things!
Do you have any tips for new mamas?
What would your biggest piece of advice be?

Postpartum Provisions

I recently had a friend who is six months pregnant, ask me for advice for after baby arrives. Nothing can really prepare you for the realities of lack of sleep, or the amazing feeling that is staring at your newborn. But, in saying that, you can have some things close by which can help ease the transition. 

I remember searching Pinterest for a similar list before Sophie was born. And something I found amusing, is that I could tell where the writer was from, based on what was in her list. See, I always read "peri bottle" and "Tucks" on lists from writers in North America. I had no idea what these items were, but I bought them. After the delivery, I was chatting to the midwife about the postpartum period. I mentioned both products - and she said in all her time, she had never recommended them to anyone. So anyway, everyone is different. And comfort is the most important thing. I found the peri bottles very handy.

The conversation with my pal made me think about what I had on hand, what I didn't have, and what I would recommend for her to get. So I thought, why not write it all down! Now, some may seem like luxuries, or odd, but these are what I had and relied on for comfort in that new, exciting but challenging time. Cos, straight up, it was probably the hardest couple of weeks I recall. But for all that, having that super sweet, brand new, soft and squidgy, mewling little poppet is worth every tiring second. And more. Her little face looking up at me was like, well, nothing I can describe.

So, here is the list.. Enjoy!

Nursing tanks - soooo useful. I had a couple but asked Mum to grab me a couple more. I pretty much wore them every day. Oh and your boobs get giant - so size up!

Curtains - "but Sarah, what do you mean curtains? Isn't this about new babies?". Our house has no curtains in the front room, but technically the front room is the back room. So no-one can see in. Anyway, the reason is, you will walk around with your tah-tahs out all the time. Like ALL the time. I would forget and would Rob would have to remind me when people came around.

Coconut oil - oh the nipples. I hate to say it but they get kind of destroyed in the first few weeks. I tried some lanolin based creams but coconut oil was what really worked for me.

All the food - cos I ate, all the food. All the time. Mum made me sandwiches every few hours. Green smoothies helped move things in the belly along. And that means lots of nutrients for babe. Nuts and fresh fruit were good too. Easily accessible snacks for 3 am are important too.

Nursing nightgown - it's much easier to get them out with one of these! It makes your night feeds much swifter.

Maternity pads - everyone is different but it happens. You just gotta have a bunch. Better to have too many on hand. 

Booty box - A shelf or box in your bathroom/toilet with the pads, plus tucks, peri or spray bottle, wet wipes, and tissue paper. Look after it all. It has all been through quite a traumatic time.

Boppy - your arms get tired yo. Especially because newborns take so long to feed. And that's gonna be half of your day.

Chocolate - I ate a lot of chocolate. That is all. 

Breast pump - all my research into newborns and babies, and yet I never read about engorgement. I guess everyone is different, but man, I found it to be very painful. So, having the breast pump to relieve the pressure was the best thing I could have done. I had bought one because I planned to breast feed and pump if I could, but I appreciate not everyone buys them before baby comes. If you have a similar problem with engorgement pain, maybe buying a manual pump or renting one could work too. 

Ice packs - Yep. There's no hiding it, a day after the birth the shock of the whole event really hurts your body. And then you spend a lot of time sitting to feed. Look after yourself! Periodic ice packing can really help! I kept forgetting I had just had a baby, I would be like, man it hurts. And then its like, oh yeah. Baby.

Heat pack - again, I found this was a massive relief from engorgement pain. 

Caffeine - in any form. You just need it.

Support System - I do not know how people do it alone. Full respect ladies. I needed loved ones. Full stop.

A human sized nest - haha. What I mean by that, is have a comfy spot that you can eat in, nap in and feed in. I spent most of my day in a nest on the couch. It was much easier than moving around the house and it was good for resting. I had a big maternity pillow to sit on because that ass area is delicate ladies. I had Sophie's moses basket next to the sofa too. Convenience!

So yeah, these are what I would recommend. Do you have anything you agree with or something different you required? What is your advice ladies?!