Do you Speak Instagram?

My friend just got an Instagram account.

And me, being the instafiend I am, started going on about all the things I love about Insty.

And, it occurred to me, well, we say some weird shit on Instagram.

Grammar, proper English and punctuation be damned.

Here are some of my favorites.

All the heart eyes - as in the emoticon, eg. wow so cute, your baby is adorable, that dress is great, I am in love with whatever that is

#shelfie - a way to show off how good you are at decorating your kids room

That ____ though - eg. the _____ was great, that _____ looks good, I want to eat your _____

#fluffmail - showing off your new cloth nappies 

Amaze - like amazing, but infinitely more so

Noms - eg. that food was delish, that food looks delish, that man looks delish

#nomnomnom - see above

I need that ____ in my life - eg. I need to eat that pizza, I need to own that dress, I need to be in a hotel that looks like that

 #wearallthebabies - no, we aren't turning babies into clothes, its the baby wearing (wrapping) movement

I can't even - when something is so cute or infuriating or awesome you can't deal with it

I literally can't even - see above, but like, more so

#thestruggleisreal - used when commenting on any "first world problem"

#allthehashtags - a satirical comment to make light of the fact that you have just used a lot of hashtags, mostly so people know you aren't super serious and can laugh at yourself #justkiddingbutnotreally kind of thing

#gains - accompanied by a wanky gym selfie, or, ironically, with a large pizza or cocktail

All of the things - a general need to have all of the dresses, eat all of the food, or drink all of the wine

What are your favorite Instagram cliches?